The Lord helps me through the tough times

Dear Mom,

That is such a great picture :)  The Elders delivered my letter to he quite quick- I made a big deal of it.  Elders are known to let things like that sit in their flat until the Chinese recent converts have like gone back to China.  I almost made the Elder I gave it to like blood swear that he would deliver the letter to Van... so I'm glad she got it :)  I can't believe she posted it on facebook, though.  That is so crazy.  She is so great.  You can tell her that potentially (not for certain, but maybe) Sister Embley and I might come back to Liverpool on 10 November for Wang Yu's baptism.  So she better be there :)  She knows him, she taught him with us before we left.

Yeah, I heard that the missionary department went from like 700 applications a week to 7000 applications a week.  That is so crazy.  My friend Elder Woodworth is postulating that I will train again, but I'm not sure that they will get here in time for me to have another trainee.  I would love to have another daughter in the mission :)  My trainees are very good missionaries, but it is because they are pure in heart and have a really strong desire to serve the Lord- that makes training fine. I know that Sister Embley will train soon enough,
hopefully a Chinese, but maybe an English speaker.  I suppose I would love to train again, although to be honest training a 19 year old girl sounds kind of more intimidating.  I just know myself at that age, and I  wasn't ready for it yet.  The Lord's timing is perfect, and His work is going to rush forth.  There are people that need to be baptised.

That is nice that Taylor came over again.  I can't believe it is Halloween time again.  The year has gone by so
fast.  Sleepy Hallow sounds quite good, but maybe a bit scary.  I remember reading that book my Junior year of college, and the reason I remember the girls last name is because it is also Naomi's last name and she met Mr. Van Tassel during that same time period.  I connected a lot of dots.

This week I was actually really sick.  Like really sick.  Sister Embley was like begging me to stay in on Wednesday and I was like, 'no way, I'm not wasting my mission away inside the flat.'  So we went out and taught.  I knew that the grace of Jesus Christ could help me, we taught this girl named Taryn, and was just  so alive and so in it and really aware and felt led.  Then we taught a boy named Sam, who was a Chinese, so Heavenly Father knew I didn't need the help that time as much.  Usually during a Chinese lesson I participate quite a lot, but I just sat there dying as Sister Embley taught in Chinese.  I was so groggy.  Then, after that we were out contacting and the Assistants rang us and said they were in the area and asked if we wanted to go with them and the Zone Leaders to break our fast at a Chinese buffet... uh, yeah :)  (I forgot, I was sick and I was also fasting, which probably wasn't very smart).  Anyway, I got food and after that I felt really a lot more energized for that night and so we just continued to work.

The next day was Multi-Zone Conference, and Elder Kearon of the 70 came (that is why we were fasting).  Sister Embley and I missed our train, which meant we had time to buy cold medicine for me, and we got
there late and our district leader was sitting on the front row.  Which meant we were at the front were everyone could see me being sick.  My body just could not behave.  President Kearon showed this video about missionaries, that was touching but not like over the top, and I was like bawling.  My nose was running and I was coughing and I felt so sick.  I remember the training was good, but I don't remember
all of it.  I felt prompted that I needed to get a blessing, which a blessing for the sick and afflicted is not something I usually like to admit that I need.  At home I just deal with it and go to class and work and stay sick forever.  But I knew I needed a blessing.  Elder Sutton was there, because Ashton Zone was combined with ours and some other Zones, so I had him and Elder Miranda (my District Leader) give me a blessing.  I felt so much better after, I was like, 'I can do anything!'  I still felt tired, but healed.

Which is why I was confused why I was the most sick when I woke up the next day.  I was like really sick.  But I was like, 'Whatever, I'm going to push through it, I'm not spending my mission inside the flat.'  Well, it was weekly planning so we spend most of the day inside the flat anyway, but Sister Embley said I was going delirious.  I was talking about Elder Woodworth (who I had seen the day before and is a great friend of mine) and how funny he was.  He isn't particularly that 'haha' funny, and now I can't actually remember what
I was saying about him, but Sister Embley thought I was going crazy.  I was like, 'maybe I need to lie down.'  I kept day dreaming about weird things like 'SuperDry' coats (of which I really want one).  She convinced me that we shouldn't go to our next appointment, it was a less active that had little kids and so we didn't go.  In the evening, though, we still went out and taught two lessons, one was Sam and he was really good so we didn't want to miss it.

I was like, fine I stayed in for an hour and a half of my mission, that isn't that much, it is okay.  But then the next day I woke up and felt like I was going to die.  I tried to make it, but I couldn't even make it through companionship study before I had to go lie down.  We finally got a hold of Sister Preston (we had been trying to do so the day before to get permission to stay in) and she told us to stay in and that it was freezing that pretty much that it was crazy for me to go outside (she had seen me at Zone Conference, I think I might have cried to her as well).  Well, that took a lot of humility.  Heavenly Father really had to prompt me to stay inside the flat and take care of myself.  I did convince Sister Embley to go with me to street contact and get our bus passes so we were talking to people for like 1 1/2 hours is all.  It hurt to stay in.  I wanted to go work.  But Heavenly Father reminded me of Sisters that just 'pushed through it' and they made themselves so sick.

I went into my room one of the days and cried and cried and cried.  I sobbed and sobbed, because I didn't want to be sick and I didn't want to stop doing the Lord's work.  I'm not one to miss school or work to be sick, and so to miss doing the Lord's work (which I really only have a finite time to participate in) was killing me.  It hurt so bad. But I needed to be humbled and realise that I have limitations, and that it is only through Jesus Christ that I can be saved from spiritual death of sin, but also the only way I can be saved from physical death.  I think I have realised for a while that I rely on Him spiritually- no unclean thing can dwell with God- but this made me realise that I rely on Him physically.  He can, according to my faith, completely heal me.  The Priesthood can do that- through that blessing I could have completely been healed.  But what would I have learned from that?  Would I have learned that the Fall was real? No.  Would I have learned that we all experience weakness and trials and that Adam and Eve are our first parents and introduced opposition in the world, not to ruin our lives, but to make us stronger? No.  Would I have thought, after being completely healed, that every time I say 'Jesus, Jesus!' I would be magically healed and wouldn't have to worry or experience any of the suffering He felt? Maybe.  Would I have ever realised that missionary isn't about me, but about the Lord?  Maybe not.  It also might have taken me longer to realise there is more I
need to change about myself.

So yeah, I've been ill this whole week.  I still am pretty sick.  But the Lord helps me through the tough times, and He will help His work roll forth.

I love you.  Loves,

Sister Hull