Loves

Hello everyone :)

I suppose the news has got around that I will now be coming home with my group on the 14^th of Feb.  I have really had to debate and think about and pray about it… and this is the right answer.  I realise now that Heavenly Father has helped me and blessed me all the way through.  Knowing that I was going home later was actually a blessing for me- you know how much I freak out about things and can’t function.  So knowing that it was later and then springing it on me was probably the right answer.  Also, instead of getting the rest that I needed I would have probably killed myself working had I thought I was going home this soon, and my sickness and fatigue would have probably gotten worse.   I’m very very nervous to come home, and I know that it will be different, but I know that it will be good.

My mission has been the best year and a half of my life.  I love it, and I know that I will always keep it sacred.  There are so many wonderful things that have happened and so many blessings and miracles that I have seen in my life and in the life of others.  From leaving you and walking through the terminal at SLC airport, I have been increasingly blessed every day, and my life has changed.  I have had so many wonderful experiences and so many blessings in my life.

My mission has been the hardest thing of my life.  I remember there were times in Swinton when I was training Sister Beaty that I just had to excuse myself to the other room… and cry… cry cry cry… and pray to Heavenly Father because He was the only one that I could talk to, and because He was the only one who would talk to me at the time, I learned to recognise His voice.  God speaks to us… in a very real, very personal way we can hear the voice of the Lord.  It is almost audible at times, and really changes our view and perceptions.  He spoke to me many times in Swinton, and continues to speak to me now.  It is when I truly humble myself, to the depths of humility, that I learn the most from God.

I remember when I was in Liverpool with Sister Gong.  It was the first time of my life that I realised I was smiling… just because.  Of course I had smiled before, everyone smiles sometimes (even Elder Fawcett… but good luck seeing that…), but it was the first time in my life I was walking down the street and I had a massive smile on my face- not because of a joke, or even something good happening- I was just happy to be alive and happy to be a missionary.  I have laughed so much as a missionary- I have laughed so much it has caused very embarrassing bodily functions to malfunction in front of my entire zone.  My mission has taught me that the gospel makes me happy.

I feel so much charity for the Chinese people.  I told president one day that if I see a Chinese person I almost automatically love them.  They are an entire race of people that I just automatically love.  It has taught me about the pure love of Christ.  I’ve realised that if I can apply that love- that I love Chinese people even though they give me hot water in the middle of summer to drink, and even though their grammar is completely rubbish, and even though some of them can be really prideful- that is probably a start of how I can love all men.  Jesus Christ loves each one of us individually, and very personally, even though there is a mass of us.  I can just feel the beginnings of that, because even though there are loads of Chinese people on the earth, I just love them all so much, and would love them as an individual if I had the chance.

I learned about sacrifice.  I learned that sometimes we have to give up what seems like a lot for what seems like a little.  But it really isn’t.  I remember climbing Mt. Snowdon I was so mad at one of the assistants, and I wanted to scream at him.  But every time I tried, I knew I shouldn’t.  I realised that I had actually chosen to get myself into that position and to attempt to get to the top, and now I had to do it.  I had chosen to make the sacrifice, and now I had to be okay with the follow through.  I have realised that God will ask me to give up things that I think are valuable and I think that I can’t live without, but if I do that He will bless me exponentially more.  Everything I have ever thought that it was unfair to give up has been more than compensated through the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I have learned about friendship.  I have learned that we can never decide before hand who will be our friend.  They may be completely different from us- they might have a different culture, they may be ‘cooler’ or ‘lamer’, they may have really bad jokes, or really bad teeth- but if we love them like Christ loves us we will see them for so much more of their potential than we ever thought before.

I learned about humility.  I learned that no matter what I do, I still can’t do everything or much of anything by myself.  I realise that all my efforts are nothing without Jesus Christ and God, because I couldn’t do it without Him.  I realised just this weekend that sometimes our strongest moments are lying in Sam’s bed in Liverpool-sick- talking to Sister Embley- because that is what is needed and that is what God wants me to be doing.  Those are moments that God will consecrate in my mind, because they are the hardest, because they are not what I want to do, but rather His will for me.

I have realised that the power of the Priesthood is real.  I have received Priesthood blessings that have sent a literal surge of power through my power, giving me strength that I didn’t know I had.  I have received prophetic blessings that have told me of what the future has held.  I have received blessings that have shown me that God knows me so well… because my Zone Leader has quoted part of my patriarchal blessing.  This isn’t fake; this power isn’t null or void or made up.  The power of the Priesthood is entirely real, and it has been restored through the earth by a prophet of God.  There is a prophet of God on the earth today.

I have realised the power of God of putting the right people in the right places at the right times.  I wouldn’t have survived Swinton without Mama Helen and Sister DuCouer.  But I wouldn’t have survived Liverpool without Vincent and Van.  And I wouldn’t have survived anywhere without my companions, specifically chosen for me in that time and place.  Every one of my companions has been who I really needed at that time.  I love them all so much.  They are each a dear dear friend to me and have taught me things that I couldn’t have learned from anyone else but them.  I have also realised the power of leadership, and of friendship, and I know there are many places in my mission that I wouldn’t have survived without the Elders around me.  God knows me so well.  He knows my weaknesses and my strengths and puts people around me who can help me through that.

I’m still learning that it isn’t about me or my pride.  Being a good missionary to be in this elite group of missionaries I have put into my mind, is no reason for doing missionary work.  Missionary work should be the most humble work, and isn’t about me or my accomplishments.

I have learned that the Plan of Salvation is real, and that God has a lot better idea of what I need than I have of what I need.  I have no idea what it actually important or best for my life, but God knows.  There are so many choices He has made for me that I haven’t made for myself- and if I would have made for myself they would have been a wrong choice. 2 years ago I had no desire to go on a mission.  I had very specific goals and plans, but it didn’t pan out the way I wanted it to.   4 months ago I had no desire to go back to Preston, and miracle upon miracle flowed from God as I went back.

I learned that the grace of Jesus Christ is real.  There have been days when I would have crashed, but I didn’t because of the grace of Jesus Christ.  I will always remember my last general conference weekend of my mission.  It seemed like everything was against what I wanted that weekend- I received the most difficult letter of my mission to swallow which hurt quite bad, and I found out that I would be white washing with my trainee.  I couldn’t concentrate on Conference (it is partially grace that they put it in the Ensign), but that entire weekend I felt completely lifted.  It was like being on the wings of angels.

I know that the Atonement of Jesus Christ is absolutely real.  It used to be just an abstract word that was supposed to help if you did something wrong.  But now it is a power and influence in my life.  Everyone has good and bad, and a lot of times the bad seems to overpower us.  But because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ we can overcome, even slay, those demons.  And it isn’t a onetime solution, it is something that if we will apply every day we will be clean every week as we approach the Sacrament Table, and we will be able to feel the Spirit into our lives.  The gospel will always bring us the most happiness our lives, because it is the only way we can escape sin and temptation of every kind.  It is the only way we can also escape the physical effects that also accompany the fall.  I know that I have been saved through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and it is through that daily salvation I will be made whole and alive through Christ.

I have learned that hope is faith and trust that God’s Promises are real.  The most important and desired promise is exaltation in the Celestial Kingdom of God.  I have learned that the Gospel is the way, and if I replace fear with hope, I will be alright.  Not only that, I will have peace and comfort and happiness in my future.

I love you.  I’ll see you soon.

Loves,

Sister Hull

PS  10 March should be fine, I think, mom.  I’ll probably just have to see everybody in due course, but that might be better than an onslaught of emotion in the first 3 days anyway.  Maybe I’ll be able to go to some of the other missionaries homecomings as well that way :)  Loves.